Are you a good judge of character?
Growing up, I always watched people closely. Maybe it was a defence mechanism, a way of protecting myself by understanding those around me. I’ve always studied people—their words, their actions, their silences—and it’s given me a decent instinct for reading character.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that first impressions are usually a scam. People can charm you or seem distant, but the truth of who they are takes months, even years, to really come to light. And let’s not forget, people change. We all do.
Giving People a Chance
I’ve always believed in second and even third chances. Nobody gets everything right the first time. I know I don’t, so why expect perfection from others? That said, being kind and giving people the benefit of the doubt has its risks. I’ve been burnt before—trusting people who didn’t deserve it, giving too much of myself to those who didn’t appreciate it.
But here’s the thing: I don’t regret it. My intentions were good, and that’s what matters to me. If someone’s taken advantage of my kindness, that’s on them, not me. They might not be part of my life anymore, but I still move forward with peace.
Stopping to judge people or hold grudges isn’t how I want to live. Life is short, and forgiveness is powerful. I’d rather keep my heart light and focused on what truly matters.
The Real Judge
At the end of the day, I’m not the judge, and neither are you. The only true judge is Allah. He sees everything we can’t—their intentions, struggles, and hearts. While we’re trying to piece together someone’s character, He already knows the full picture.
And here’s what gives me comfort: Allah doesn’t just judge; He guides. He gives people countless chances to change, to improve, to find the right path. When the time for judgment comes, it’s always fair, and it’s always just.
Moving Forward
So, am I a good judge of character? Maybe. But that’s not what I focus on. I focus on being kind, forgiving, and moving forward with a clear conscience. The rest, I leave to Allah.
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