The Narratives – Mohamed Miah

There’s a certain discomfort that comes over me whenever I find myself in the background, following someone else’s lead. It’s not that I mind listening or learning from others—there’s always value in that—but it’s in those moments when I know I should be the one taking charge that I feel truly out of place.

I’ve always been someone who thrives when leading, whether it’s at work or in family life. As a team leader in payroll, I’m used to making decisions, giving directions, and ensuring that things run smoothly. It’s not about controlling the situation; it’s about knowing where my strengths lie and how I can contribute most effectively. When I’m not in that role, especially if I’m asked to follow instructions in a scenario where I feel I could offer more as a leader, I feel out of sync. It’s like stepping out of my natural rhythm, and that sense of imbalance is uncomfortable.

There’s another situation that used to make me feel out of place—when people would laugh at someone else’s expense. It doesn’t happen anymore, but when I was younger, I’d sometimes fall into the trap of joining in, all in the name of fitting in with peer pressure. We’ve all been there, trying to seem cool or be part of the crowd, even when our conscience tells us otherwise. I’d criticise myself afterward, feeling guilty for allowing myself to go along with something that didn’t sit right with me.

But I’m in a very different place now. Over time, I’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin. I no longer find myself in those sorts of uncomfortable positions because I’ve learned how to outmanoeuvre them. If something doesn’t align with my values or makes me uneasy, I simply remove myself from the situation. I’m quite blunt about it too—I don’t see the need to stay where I don’t feel right.

In my own journey, being honest with myself and others has become second nature. Whether it’s in how I lead or how I interact with people, I now prioritise staying true to myself over trying to fit into spaces that don’t feel right. That’s been a major shift for me, especially as I’ve grown older and taken on more responsibilities. Family life, my career, my faith—all of these aspects of who I am have reinforced the importance of being authentic and standing by my values.

When I reflect on moments of feeling out of place, I realise they were just reminders to stay aligned with who I am and what matters to me. Whether in leadership, where I feel most comfortable, or in social situations that don’t sit well with me, I’ve learned that real contentment comes from owning my space, my voice, and my values.