The Narratives – Mohamed Miah

By Mohamed Miah

In every interaction, I find myself unconsciously analysing people. Not to judge or critique, but to better understand the often unseen forces driving human behavior. Through years of observation, lived experience, and reflections grounded in faith and history, I’ve come to believe that human beings—men and women—are subtly “coded” to act in particular ways. This coding, while largely invisible, shapes how we engage with the world and the people around us.

It is often said that boys are closer to their mothers, while girls gravitate more towards their fathers. Having seen this dynamic play out time and again in different lives, I can’t help but feel that this pattern speaks to something far deeper than societal roles or upbringing. It’s not just nurture; there’s a biological, perhaps even spiritual, underpinning to these connections. Boys, from a young age, require care and nurturing, often turning to their mothers for that sense of warmth and emotional grounding. In a world that can be harsh and unrelenting for men, mothers offer a reminder of kindness, compassion, and empathy. It is from these early relationships that boys learn to navigate the emotional landscape of life.

On the other hand, girls often look to their fathers for protection, safety, and security. This relationship forces a father, usually more hardened by the external world, to become softer and more gentle when interacting with his daughter. There’s an instinctual shift that happens—fathers learn to become more tender, more patient. This shift may be what equips daughters with a sense of confidence and security as they step into the world.

From my perspective, rooted in my faith and the story of creation, these patterns make sense. Adam and Eve were created for a reason, each embodying qualities that complement the other. Eve, in the Islamic tradition, was created to be a source of comfort and support for Adam, to ease his burden. But she was also given more curiosity—perhaps so she could see Adam first, so she could better navigate their shared world. I believe this is why women, to this day, seem to carry a deeper sense of curiosity, fun, and risk-taking. It’s an inherent coding that sets them apart from men.

This isn’t to say that men don’t take risks. We certainly do. But our risks tend to be motivated by survival: food, power, strength, and resources. Women, on the other hand, can be more spontaneous. I’ve observed this many times—women will often act in ways that seem impulsive, sometimes even without a clear reason. But perhaps that’s the point. They are driven by something more instinctual, something that speaks to their inherent curiosity about the world and their role within it.

Another key difference I’ve noticed is how men and women process emotions and trauma. Women, in my experience, seem to move on from emotional pain more quickly than men. They seem better able to forget and forge ahead. I think this could be tied to their reproductive nature. A woman, carrying the responsibility of nurturing new life, may need to heal faster, both physically and emotionally. Men, by contrast, often hold onto past wounds longer. Perhaps it’s our primal coding, our need to protect and defend, that makes us more prone to anger and aggression.

This isn’t just idle speculation. I’ve witnessed these patterns unfold in the lives of countless people I’ve encountered. In every interaction, I see traces of these inherent codes guiding behavior—whether it’s a father’s protective instinct or a mother’s nurturing care, a woman’s spontaneity or a man’s measured aggression. I don’t believe this coding is fixed or rigid, but it is undeniably there, shaping how we engage with the world around us.

Of course, modern society often challenges these traditional roles. Women now occupy spaces that were once reserved for men, and men are increasingly taking on nurturing roles. But even as these roles evolve, the underlying codes remain. These deep-seated behaviors have been passed down through generations, hardwired into us from the beginning of time.

Ultimately, whether through faith, observation, or lived experience, we can see that men and women are different—not in terms of value, but in terms of how we are wired to approach life. Recognising these differences doesn’t diminish anyone; rather, it helps us understand each other better. In a world that increasingly seeks to erase differences, perhaps we need to pause and appreciate the codes that make us unique.

Our inherent nature is a reflection of divine wisdom. The balance between strength and tenderness, risk and caution, nurture and protection—these are the elements that create harmony between men and women. They’re not just social constructs; they’re the invisible threads that have held society together for centuries. And if we look closely, we can still see them guiding us today.