The Narratives – Mohamed Miah

Let’s cut to the chase: how much would I pay to go to the moon? Absolutely nothing. That’s right, zilch, nada, not even a single penny. And before you start wondering if I’ve lost my sense of adventure or if I secretly have a fear of flying (I don’t, by the way), let me explain.

First of all, I’m perfectly content right here on Earth. I mean, let’s be real—I can barely find the time to walk around the park these days, let alone blast off into space. With a full-time job, three kids to look after, and a million other things that fill my day, the moon isn’t exactly on my priority list. When I’m not tackling the ever-evolving challenges of payroll, I’m busy finding a moment to write, cook, or take a breath between helping my kids and spending time with my wife. Trust me, that’s enough to keep anyone grounded—literally.

Plus, let’s talk about the practical side of this. Sure, the moon’s got craters and all, but does it have Wi-Fi? Can I sit back with a cup of coffee, watching a football match, and scrolling through the latest sneaker drops while sitting in a crater? I highly doubt it. No place to watch Manchester United in action, and I’m supposed to pay for that experience? Thanks, but no thanks.

Speaking of football, I’d much rather be watching it from my sofa than bouncing around in a space suit, dodging space rocks, and wondering what the heck I’m supposed to do for fun up there. The moon might be a cool concept for some, but in reality, it’s not exactly a holiday destination. No spicy curry, no naan bread, no good Wi-Fi… yeah, not selling it to me!

Now, let me get to the real deal breaker: the toilet. Have you ever seen how astronauts go to the bathroom in space? That would be my biggest issue. I mean, I love a good adventure as much as the next person, but there are certain non-negotiables in life, and a decent bathroom is definitely one of them. Forget zero gravity and floating around—I’m not keen on dealing with that kind of situation! There’s only so much I’m willing to sacrifice in the name of exploration.

And let’s not forget the whole “what if something goes wrong” scenario. The anxiety alone would probably have me sweating through the spacesuit. I’ve got enough on my plate trying to make sure my family is safe and sound here on Earth. Adding the risk of being stuck in a tin can millions of miles away from home? That’s a hard pass from me. I’ll take my earthly responsibilities, thank you very much. At least here, if the kids slam the door after an argument, I don’t have to worry about the airlock accidentally opening!

Besides, life is full of plenty of mysteries and challenges right here. We haven’t even explored the deepest parts of our oceans, let alone solved the mysteries of our own world. Why go all the way to the moon when there are still so many hidden gems on this planet? I’m not talking about deep-sea diving or hiking in the Himalayas—my idea of an adventure is a perfectly cooked chicken curry, or maybe discovering a new way to juggle work, family, and my hobbies (like catching a quiet moment to write or read, or play a bit of Football Manager).

So, how much would I pay to go to the moon? Well, let’s just say, I’d rather spend my hard-earned money on something that brings me joy—whether it’s a new watch, the latest gadget, or a trip to see family in Bangladesh. The moon will just have to wait… forever.

Besides, who needs to travel to the moon when I’ve got the universe of thoughts in my head, a family that means the world to me, and a daily life that’s already as unpredictable as a rocket launch? Trust me, there’s no better place than home. And hey, at least here, the toilet’s exactly where it needs to be.